Funny Motivational Quotes To Put A Smile On Your Face

 


I stumbled across a rather aggravated post (rant) on LinkIn the other day; detailing a certain user’s distaste (and hatred, actually) for inspirational quotes (posters to be more precise).

And ironically, it inspired me to write this blog.

I thought… surely, not every single quote out there is as ‘boring,’ ‘cheesy’ and ‘pointless’ as this LinkedIn user would have me believe?

[You’ve only got to go on Amazon for 5 minutes to see that lots of other people also think that there’s something in motivation quotes…]

And so this week, I’ve been on a quest to find the funniest, most witty and genuinely interesting motivational (and a few de-motivational) one-liners I could – in a bid to win over the cynics… enjoy.

3. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realise I should have been more specific.” Lily Tomlin

4. “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” Oscar Wilde

5. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” Winnie the Pooh

6. “Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” Tom Lehrer

7. “You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?” Steven Wright

8. “Work until your bank account looks like a phone number.” Unknown 

9. “Change is not a four letter word… but often your reaction to it is!” Jeffrey Gitomer

10. “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” Dalai Lama

14. “A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory.” Mark Twain

15. “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

16. “I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.” Benjamin Franklin

17. “I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” Unknown

18. “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.” Charles Schulz

19. “Think like a proton. Always positive.” Unknown

20. “Be happy – it drives people crazy.” Unknown

madness. You mustn’t lose it.” Robin Williams

24. “I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms” Michael Scott

25. “If you let your head get too big, it’ll break your neck.” Elvis Presley

26. “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” Will Rogers

27. “Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.” Dwight D. Eisenhower

28. “Live each day like it’s your second to the last. That way you can fall asleep at night.” Jason Love

29. “Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.” Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach

30. “Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.” Franklin P. Jones

31.“I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.” Ron White

32. “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” Thomas Eddison

33. “A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” Unknown

34. “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says “I’m possible!” Audrey Hepburn

35. “Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.” Robert Bloch

36. “Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.” Marilyn Monroe

37. “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” Robert Frost

38. “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” Terry Pratchett

39. “Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.” Billie Burke

40. “When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.” Unknown

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